By Lewis “MVP” Carlan. Catch him on Twitter @PWSOTH.
TNA was back once again with their flagship show IMPACT as we are getting closer to Slammiversary. Let’s jump right into it and see how this week’s edition of IMPACT fared.
The show opens with Dixie Carter talking to an unidentified man and states to him that this week needs to be about control after control was “lost” during last week’s show. She said she talked it over with Billy Corgan and tonight the show would be in complete control of the unidentified man.
Umm, last week’s show was not all that bad. I can’t quite pinpoint where control was lost last week. The ending of the Galloway/Lashley match two weeks ago was where the control was really lost, which by the way was Dixie Carters fault by making that match a lumberjack match. Shouldn’t putting this undisclosed person in charge have happened last week? I wonder if the writers are purposely trying to make her look stupid?
Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis head to the ring. Once inside they cut a promo about Dixie putting someone in charge of the show and it’s not him or Maria. He voiced his disdain for that. Bennett demanded to know who was in charge as EC3’s music hits. We find out that EC3 is in charge of the show. EC3 tells Bennett he is granting himself the re-match as it will be EC3 vs. Mike Bennett at Slammiversary.
I hated this. It made the Road to Redemption matches meaningless in my opinion. The matches were made for absolutely nothing with no real payoff. Bad move by TNA.
EC3 decided to give Bennett the night off from wrestling as he wanted Bennett to be fresh for their match at Slammiversary.
Uh EC3, these shows were taped April 21-25, Bennett should be fresh for the Slammiversary match even if he wrestles on the show.
While Bennett had the night off from wrestling he didn’t have off from doing blue collar work as a man named Kenny walked out with a mop bucket. EC3 said that Bennett would be cleaning toilets tonight. As Maria voiced her opinion, he told her that her job will be evaluated with Gail Kim and they would determine whether she will be fired or keeps her job. EC3 had them both leave the ring to which the crowd sang the goodbye song which is normally sung when someone is fired.
How is having Bennett clean toilets going to help maintain control of the show? EC3 was put in charge because Dixie is so worried about losing control and he has done this? It seems to me that EC3 has “lost” control and is on a power trip. And if EC3 can book matches for future shows, why not book himself a few title matches against Drew Galloway? Wouldn’t that make sense? That’s what I would do.
Lashley’s music hits as he enters the ring. He tells EC3 that one day they will fight and he will spear his ass. EC3 states that he is relegating his power to Drew Galloway. Galloway appears as Josh Mathews mentions the pick your poison theme of the show as Galloway will pick Lashley’s opponent tonight and Lashley will pick Galloway’s opponent.
Next up EC3 and Bennett are in the men’s room looking over the toilets Bennett must clean.
We go back to the IMPACT zone as Galloway announces Bram as Lashley’s opponent.
Match 1 – Lashley vs Bram
Both men exchanged offensive moves early on. Lashley put Bram down with a crushing clothesline and took over the match for a bit until Bram made his comeback with a few blows and clotheslined Lashley over the top rope to the outside. Lashley looked frustrated and teases that he may be heading to the back. Bram goes to the outside only to be met with a boot to the stomach by Lashley, who them throws him into the barricade. Lashley uses his headband to choke Bram. Back in the ring, we got more back and forth action between the two. Bram was getting in many offensive moves until Lashley hit him with a spinebuster and three running clotheslines. Lashley gets a chair and uses it on Bram which leads to a disqualification. Lashley speared Bram as Galloway ran out and made the save, chasing him backstage.
This match actually made Lashley look weak in my opinion. He should have won the match clean but had to resort to getting disqualified? It makes me think, if he can’t beat Bram, how will he beat Galloway? Bram got in way too much offense when Lashley should have been booked to run right over him.
Bram was laying in the ring when Eli Drake’s music hit as he comes down and cashes in his Feast or Fired briefcase for a King of The Mountain Title shot.
Match 2 – Eli Drake vs. Bram for the KOM Title.
Drake went for a quick pin attempt but Bram kicked out at two. Drake proved to be too much for a spent Bram as Drake put Bram down with a clothesline and became the new King of the Mountain champion.
Good move giving the title to the very talented Eli Drake. Here is hoping that TNA changes the name of the KOM title to something like the TNA TV Title or TNA International Title.
Another interesting situation that could develop here is Bram blaming Galloway for the loss by choosing him to be Lashley’s opponent.
A BroMans segment was next with Robbie E, who was wearing a ridiculous fur hat, and Jessie poolside as Raquel showed up. She told them to focus and proceeded to walk around in her bikini.
While I am all for Raquel in a bikini, this clip was total garbage. That’s all I have to say about that.
Next up, we are back in the men’s room with EC3 and Bennett. Bennett says he is a star who shouldn’t clean toilets as Earl Hebner walks out of one of the stalls. Hebner calls Bennett an A-hole. EC3 says Bennett will learn respect for referees and tells Bennett to get a ref shirt as he is the referee for the next match.
Eli Drake is seen backstage celebrating his win with a few unknown TNA employees. He pours a few of them a glass of champagne but slaps it out of their hands before they can drink it. Hilarious! Eli Drake is awesome!
We are shown the Matt Hardy estate and Mathews mentions that Matt has invited Jeff to his house to sign the Slammiversary contract.
Match 3 – Tyrus and Rockstar Spud vs The BroMans to determine the #1 contender for the TNA tag titles with Mike Bennett as the referee.
TNA has a great chance here to give us a nice fresh match at Slammiversary for the TNA Tag Titles between Tyrus/Spud and Decay. After a very uneventful match which ended with Tyrus getting distracted by Raquel’s assets leading to the BroMans winning the match as Jessie made Spud tap out to the Adonis Crab.
Sorry, I am not a fan of the BroMan’s and neither is 90% of the TNA audience so I opt not to talk about them. I hope Decay destroys the BroMans….
One thing that will make you think for a bit – EC3 is in control of the show so why would he give two of his sworn enemies – Tyrus and Spud a shot at becoming #1 contenders for the TNA tag titles? SMF’nH!!!!!!
Maria is seen backstage talking to Billy Corgan as EC3 takes the phone and hangs up on Corgan. He says that he, Maria and Gail Kim will settle their issues next in the ring next.
Jeff Hardy is shown riding his dirt bike to Matt Hardy’s house. Might I add, Jeff was NOT wearing a helmet. Very irresponsible showing this.
In the ring are Maria Kanellis, Allie, and Sienna with EC3. EC3 told Allie and Sienna to leave the ring as he wanted to talk only to Maria. EC3 said she is doing a bad job as leader of the Knockouts division and has Gail Kim come out. EC3 mentions that he is friends with Kim and her husband Robert Irvine and makes a match between Kim and Maria at Slammiversary. He then makes a match between Kim and TNA Knockouts Champion Jade against Sienna and Allie.
Match 4 – Gail Kim and Jade vs Sienna and Allie
EC3 and Maria took a seat at ringside. Allie and Kim started the match. Allie tried to run but was caught by Kim and worked her over. Allie did a lot of screaming and finally tagged out to Sienna. Sienna came in and took control of the match. Kim made a comeback with forearms and a corner splash. Jade was tagged in and put Sienna down with a german suplex. Jade hit a missile dropkick on Sienna and had her pinned but Allie made the save. Jade won the match for her team with a package piledriver on Allie to get the pin.
The overall match was not bad but Sienna doesn’t look like the killer she did her first three weeks in TNA. I would imagine the plan is to have Sienna challenge Jade for the TNA Knockouts title but that match has kind of lost its appeal for me.
I will say that I absolutely loved the Allie character in this match. With her screaming whenever Kim touched her in the beginning and asking Jade if they can “reason about this” before they locked up was brilliantly done.
Jeff Hardy arrived at Matt’s house as he was still riding without a helmet. Reby appeared and said Matt lost his mind and she was done with them. Jeff entered the house as Matt was playing the piano. Matt said Brother Nero wants him to sign the contract and told Jeff that it must end where it started.
These Hardy segments are turning into a very bad B movie.
Mike Bennett and Maria are in the ring as Bennett cut a promo about being a superstar and not a janitor or referee. He said he is the best wrestler in the world. EC3 came out and said about Bennett having the night off, he lied and made a match between Bennett and James Storm. James Storm came out riding his silly boozer cruiser.
Match 5 – Mike Bennett vs James Storm
The match began outside the ring and they instantly cut to a commercial and then rejoined the match in progress.
I am sorry but this irritates me more than anything. This is not a live show and TNA should stop insulting our intelligence by making it seem like it is. I’ve pointed this out in past reviews as well. There is absolutely no reason to join a match in progress when it’s been taped over a month ago. They should begin the match exactly where it was cut off by the commercial.
The match itself was not even that good. Storm had control of the match until Bennett connected with a lariat while Storm was in the corner. Storm hit the Eye of the Storm but only got a two count. Maria distracted Storm by climbing on the ring apron and gave him a bottle of beer. Maria slapped him which led to Bennett rolling him up for a lame finish.
EC3 stood on the stage and said that Bennett calls himself God and he is the devil. He said he will burn Bennett’s church down. EC3 said I will leave you with a kick to the face as Bennett ate a Last Call Superkick from Storm.
A video package was shown for Baron Dax and Basille Baraka now known as The Tribunal
Al Snow was in the ring and introduced The Tribunal. Snow called them real athletes. Baron Dax said they will both fight for Snow. Baraka said they will bring a reign of terror. Snow called Grado a big bag of suck. Grado and Mahabali Shera made their entrance and after a verbal confrontation with Snow and The Tribunal, they ran to the ring only to be beat down by Snow, Dax and Baraka.
Not a bad segment, I like Dax and Baraka. I hope their feud with Grado and Shera is a quick one and they move on. It’s great to see fresh faces on IMPACT.
Next we got footage of newcomer Pepper Parks who will go by the name Braxton Sutter. Sutter talked about being an aging veteran finally getting his big break. He said his goal is to become champion in TNA.
It’s great to finally see Braxton Sutter on IMPACT. I look forward to see what he can bring to the TNA table.
The Hardy soap opera continued as Matt led Jeff to a shed. Matt stood in a ring and said it will all end in this ring where it all started.
TNA World Champion Drew Galloway made his way to the ring for his match. Lashley walks out on stage and introduced Decay as Galloway’s opponents for the night.
Galloway had his hands full taking on all three members of Decay. Abyss took down Galloway after Rosemary distracted him. Galloway came back by throwing Steve to the outside and choping him a few times in the chest. Abyss ran Galloway into one of the ring posts. As the match progressed back inside the ring, Abyss chokeslammed Galloway for a two count. Rosemary went under the ring and pulled out Janice which is Abyss’ weapon that can never be used because it will kill a person. Lashley appeared and attempted to spear Galloway but missed and speared Abyss instead. Galloway won the match by connecting with a Claymore Kick and Future Shock DDT to Crazzy Steve.
The match was okay, I am not sure having Decay lose to Galloway was the best thing. I guess this it was “lets make our top stars look weak night before Slammiversary” on Impact? More on this in the Final Word.
The Hardy campy B movie soap opera was finally concluded as Matt signed the contract and Jeff saying that they should have the match now. Reby appeared and threw what appeared to be Maxel at Jeff but it turned out to be a doll. Matt smashed a bottle over Jeff’s head and put him through a table.
Final Word: I was very disappointed with this week’s edition of TNA IMPACT. I would call it one of the worst episodes of the year. As stated earlier it seemed like this was “let’s make our top stars look weak night before Slammiversary”. First Bobby Lashley not being able to beat Bram clean and then the entire trio of Decay losing to Drew Galloway. In addition, Sienna looked weaker than ever in her enforcer role for Maria.
I wasn’t a fan of the Hardy campy B movie soap opera nonsense. I liked the promo Matt Hardy gave when he revealed himself as Willow a few weeks back but it has gone downhill from there. I hate the almost English accent he started using. I hope this match at Slammiversary is their last and they both move on to new programs.
The only highlights of this week were Eli Drake slapping champagne glasses out of people’s hands during his celebration of winning the KOM title and Allie’s character.
Right now, I am not excited about Slammiversary and I am on the fence whether or not I should pay to see it.
Until next time, thanks for reading!